Naked from the neck up!
No props or gimmicks – (filters & wigs). Just me raw. I can only be me and I will only be me. I’m on an incredible and intense journey and so many doors are being opened up to me. I’m very lucky and very grateful. This time last year I was a baldy – now I have haaaair! Not a lot but enough to scream it from the rooftops and hi-five my mirror. Yes I look different without all my ‘add-ons’ but I’m learning to love my blank canvas and when I want/need to I can paint the hell out of it and make myself shine. Until then I’m a diamond in the dirt and getting quite cozy there!💎✨💗#positivechanges
Up until early this year I wasn’t looking after myself properly. I was living in the moment and trying to make the most out of life partying, drinking – in fact doing everything to excess! Naturally it caught up with me and I had a real wake up call.
I am a mother.
I had to make drastic changes to my lifestyle if I actually wanted to live. I chose life. I changed my diet and took up meditation and a genuine interest in my well being. I stopped drinking, stopped partying, stopped shopping and stopped beating myself up. I chose positivity over negativity and there was no going back.
Hair is a big thing for most women so losing mine at 20 is one day I’ll never forget.
Whenever I’m taken back to that day, the heartbreak in my chest is still loud. I’m right there, in the bathroom mirror at my parents, watching it come out in chunks.
My femininity falling away and there was nothing I could do about it.
Instead of crying, I went out the next day and bought the most vibrant red wig. Looking back, it was my ‘fuck you’ to the medicine that did this to me. I was a girly girl and I’d felt like it was trying to steal that from me so yes – fuck you chemo!!
It wasn’t until 9-10 years later that I’d learnt that I’d actually had alopecia…
The above post is taken from my diary dated 20 June 2016. I need to get my sparkle back as that positivity is no where to be seen!
Earlier today my mother cried “You’re giving up and you’re not allowed!!”
I’ve posted an ‘old story’ as it is relevant in revealing the true me. I want to give myself to you slowly. Blog by blog. I want to be raw and uncensored so you can understand me.
Only then can you love me.