I’m feeling weird today.
Something is niggling me but I’m not sure what. It’s making me feel sad even though I want to be happy.
Last night I’d dreamt my grandfather visited me. It felt so real.
He was sat at the edge of my bed and looking over me.
I hope it was real.
He was the only man I truly loved. The only one who hadn’t let me down.
I’ll sleep in the middle of my bed tonight in case he wants to return. There’s plenty of room.
He passed away in 1992 and it was the most gutting feeling bar none.
Of all the things I have experienced in my life, nothing has devastated me more.
He was my hero.
I’ll never get over losing him. It still hurts and I still long for one of his hugs. He used to throw his arms out wide and call out “Queen Hannah!”
That was the nickname he’d given me. I would feel so special and loved.
He taught us all to play the piano and he loved to sing.
He didn’t believe in ‘foolish fiction’ so whenever cartoons came on the television he’d turn it off and send us outside to play.
“Teddy bears don’t talk or wear clothes” he’d say. He was right!
Outside was always fun. We had this rickety yellow framed swing that he’d made for us all to play on. It was rusty but functional and loved by us all.
My grandparents also had an apple, pear and plum tree and we had a great time picking our own fruit.
So many great memories too many to list tonight but just writing and thinking about him has made me feel better, so at least I’ll go to bed in a pleasant mood.
Thank you Granddad. I miss you. I love you.